It was the worst pain she had ever felt and that is saying a lot. She had lost people before but this was different, and no matter how many days go by she still doesn't have the answer as to why. It took everything in her to get back up on her feet that had so literally fallen to the floor that day. As she looks back, she now knows that there was no correlation between him and the actual heartbreak. She realizes now she was not heartbroken because she was losing him or the love she thought they had shared, rather she was heartbroken because for the first time in a long time she had felt, and felt deeply, and she was reminded of the consequences that came with it. He treated her well, but why shouldn’t he? She deserves the best. He wasn’t doing anything special, he was simply treating her the way she deserved- only at the time she didn’t know she deserved it. She was in pieces not because a man had come along and broken her into them, but because the universe recognized that a few of those pieces didn’t go together. She realizes now it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with her. The girl needed to be shown that she was trying to fit together puzzle pieces inside her own heart that didn’t fit. It was time for her to pull apart the wrong ones and find the right ones to put together. She deserves it.
She is now at peace. They say to get over a habit it takes three days and to be fully clear headed fourteen days. It took her twelve. She had managed to take all of that everything that was in her and stand back up on her feet and now she is standing on two, with a new found sense of gravity. It will take a lot more than another him to knock her back down. The universe is on her side and not only is she finding the pieces to her puzzle as time goes on, she is literally creating them as she goes. She deserves it.
Whenever she was sick or felt sad she would always imagine this one beach, this one ocean, this one moment and she would feel better. The screams of the beach goers would disappear the moment her ears fell below the surface of the water and it is now just her and the stillness of it. The noise of the beach goers that seemed to intrude her mind even when not at the beach, fall silent as she swims through this one ocean and lives this one moment. She dives into the this ocean with the tips of her toes being the last to go under. She neither kicks nor paddles. She just floats through it, realizing that you never really feel the water you’re floating through, it’s just kind of there. And so she floats through it and she realizes that she never really felt her strength either, it was just always there. She is no longer in pieces. She is at peace.